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Funny Examples of Oxymorons (Oxymora)
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absolutely nothing

the words contradict each other. Absolutely nothing, can’t actually be nothing. It is still something.

Liberal Logic

There is no liberal logic.

Affordable Health Care Act (Obamacare)

It certainly will be anything but affordable.

Jews for Jesus

If you believe in Jesus as a deity, you cannot be Jewish. If you are Jewish, you do not believe that Jesus …

urine therapy

Just can’t be

permanent consultant

I had a call from a recruiter regarding a tech job. He uses the phrase “permanent consultant” and I get immediately confused. …

American humour

If you are American, there’s no point in explaining. If you are not American, you already understand.

Logical woman

On the whole women don’t think logically & are not known for their logic

browse thoroughly

According to the Merriam Webster online Dictionary, browsing means a : to skim through a book reading passages that catch the eye …

soft hardwood

Some say that their hardwood is soft to the foot.

Working Mother

In a family with children the mother can be either employed in a job or a mother. I don’t believe that she …

Anarchist Leader

Anarchist don’t want a ruler…. So the leader of an anarchist…….

preemptive counterattack

My personal favorite; I’m astonished it’s not in your collection already. I BELIEVE I heard it used by someone in the Bush …

clean trash

Busy resting

Writing about this slower paced season of my life where my busy-ness is wrapped up in resting/taking it easy

new zealands got talent

The two are not mutually compatible

indifferent difference

When someone says the same thing as you but they have a different point.

modern victorian

The act of taking an old furnishing and giving it a modern touch. Ex.when Jamie put new modern fabric on the old …

Real Ghost

Ghosts are fake, so they can’t be real.

negative income

Really?? does it need explaining??

lesbian mother

Self explanatory

dead reckoning

The dead don’t reckon

british columbia

Self explanatory

Real fake

Self explanatary

Silent Verbal

This is a pretty common term in College Football recruiting. A recruit will give his verbal commitment to join a football team …

Obama Administration

He’s seems to complain frequently that all problems are news to him and the responsibility of subordinates.

hurry up to wait

speeding up to make it to intersection where you still have to wait

today tomorrow

a talk show

Weirdly normal

It’s saying that it’s so normal it’s weird.

Bible Scholar

Self explanatory.

Less S’mores

Free Slave

A slave who is spared or had worked to gain his/her freedom is free alright – but has the tag “free slave”.

Sunny Seattle or Sunny in Seattle

Is an explanation necessary? We don’t tan in the pacific northwest, we rust.

GOVERNMENT ACCOUNTABILITY

masterchef new zealand

Two contradictory statements if ever there were.

A happy Monday

Monday is the most hated day of the week.

Truth, justice and the American Way

The too big to fail banks made it pretty clear, I think.

Beautifully ugly

Beautiful is opposite of ugly

supernormal

a person who is perfectly well or normal without any ailments of illness of any kind seen , and is a perfect …

affordable healthcare

self explanatory

GENERAL SPECIFIC, PRIVATE PUBLIC

THE OXYMORON CARTOON ‘SHEEP IN THE BIG CITY’

Responsible gun owner

obviously the two are in stark contrast…

Strategic Philanthropy

Philanthrophic giving is defined as the generous donation of wealth for good causes, without strings attached. Strategic has strings to it.

Roman Catholic

“Catholic” means universal. Roman only pertains to something of Rome.

death benefits

British Customer Service

It is incongruous and self-contradictory

Meat-flavored plants

Virtually bulletproof

“Almost entirely impenetrable to bullets” is an oxymoron.

Happy Tears

One is usually crying when someone tearful. Someone who is happy feels positive emotion. Therefore, the two words, “happy,” and “tears” are …

artificial life

By definition these two words are contradictory!

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