eslobrown – Oxymoron List

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Never have children, only grandchildren.

Author: Gore Vidal

A normal adolescent isn’t a normal adolescent if he acts normal.

Author: Judith Viorst

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.

Author: Mark Twain

Babies are always more trouble than you thought — and more wonderful.

Author: Charles Osgood

A good father is a little bit of a mother.

Author: Lee Salk

Fond as we are of loved ones, there comes at times during their absence an unexplained peace.

Author: Anne Shaw

The American girl makes a servant of her husband and then finds him contemptible for being a servant.

Author: John Steinbeck

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It’s a thing no married man knows anything about.

Author: Oscar Wilde

How do I hate those words “an excellent marriage.” In them is contained more of wicked worldliness than any other words one ever hears spoken.

Author: Anthony Trollope

There’s no one more depressed than a happily married man.

Author: Mickey Rooney

The child is father of the man.

Author: William Wordsworth

One can always recognize women who trust their husbands; they look so thoroughly unhappy.

Author: Oscar Wilde

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

Author: P. J. O’Rourke

A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.

Author: Rainer Maria Rilke

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.

Author: Gloria Steinem

If a man’s character is to be abused, there’s nobody like a relative to do the business.

Author: William Makepeace Thackeray

Housework, if it’s done right, can kill you.

Author: John Skow

Each one of an affectionate couple may be willing … to die for the other, yet unwilling to utter the agreeable word at the right moment.

Author: George Meredith

The principle contributor to loneliness in this country is television. What happens is that the family “gets together” alone.

Author: Ashley Montagu

The unhappiness of a wife with a good husband is much more devastating than the unhappiness of a wife with a bad husband.

Author: D. H. Lawrence

The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.

Author: H. L. Mencken

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason — there’s a reason.

Author: Molly Mcgee

We all of us wanted babies — but did we want children?

Author: Leshan

If married couples did not live together, happy marriages would be more frequent.

Author: Friedrich Nietzsche

You’re obstinate, pliant, merry, morose, all at once. For me there’s no living with you, or without you.

Author: Martial (First Century A.D.)

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.

Author: Nancy Mitford

The wife should be inferior to the husband. That is the only way to insure equality between the two.

Author: Martial (First Century A.D.)

Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children.

Author: Mignon Mclaughlin

I suspect that in every good marriage there are times when love seems to be over.

Author: Madeleine L’Engle

When family relations are no longer harmonious, we have filial children and devoted parents.

Author: R. D. Laing

If you are a parent it helps if you are a grown-up.

Author: Eda J. Leshan

Adultery is a meanness and a stealing, a taking away from someone what should be theirs, a great selfishness, and surrounded and guarded by lies lest it be found out. And out of the meanness and selfishness and lying flow love and joy and peace beyond anything that can be imagined.

Author: Dame Rose Macaulay

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

Author: Friedrich Nietzsche

I’d always rather be with people who loved me too little rather than with people who loved me too much.

Author: Katherine Mansfield

Always remember … it’s matrimonial suicide to be jealous when you have a really good reason.

Author: Clare Boothe Luce

The fault no child ever loses is the one he was most punished for.

Author: Mignon Mclaughlin

I am determined my children shall be brought up in their father’s religion, if they can find out what it is.

Author: Charles Lamb

I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man.

Author: Benjamin Disraeli

Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother.

Author: Norman Douglas

Our union has been blest with issues, I said.

Author: Peter De Vries

An obedient wife commands her husband.

Author: Benjamin Disraeli

The young always have the same problem — how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.

Author: Quentin Crisp

The proper time to influence the character of a child is about a hundred years before he is born.

Author: W. R. Inge

Harold and I didn’t get along badly for married people, but the problem was I didn’t misunderstand him. No marriage can be completely successful without a reasonable amount of misunderstanding.

Author: Lillian Day

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

Author: George Jessel

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.

Author: Peter De Vries

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Author: Sacha Guitry

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.

Author: Zsa Zsa Gabor

The only good husbands stay bachelors; they’re too considerate to get married.

Author: Finley Peter Dunne